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( TRANSCRIPTS )
Lost Legion Invasion
Springs (to human): Hello? Hello? Hello, thought you might be salvage. You're about to die. You okay? Well, I can answer that -- you're not okay. The second you open this door, all the oxygen is gonna vent and you're gonna suffocate. It'll hurt a lot and your eyes will pop like grapes when the pressure differential gets too harsh. So, here's my plan: when you're ready, open the door and follow me to my oxygen bubble. Sound good? Don't answer. Conserve your oxygen.Land Among the Stars
Springs (to Claptrap): Hello? Hello? Hello, thought you might be salvage. Great thing about being a robot is you're not about to asphyxiate. You okay? Well, you are at the moment, not needing air and all that -- lucky you. But there's still plenty of stuff out here that'd love to kill ya. So, here's my plan: when you're ready, open the door and follow me to my oxygen bubble and we can talk. Sound good? Don't answer, I already know it does.
(Open door)
(Intro cutscene - Janey Springs: Black marketer. Heart of gold.)
(Traversing Elpis)
Claptrap (if present): Damn my psychosomatic need for oxygen!
Springs (to human): This way! Don't think about the grapes thing!
Springs (to Claptrap): This way!
Springs (to human): Here, I'll turn on this Air Dome Generator so you can get a breather!
Springs: Nearly there! It'd be embarrassing if you died now.
(Reaching shelter)
Springs: Everybody good? Nice to meet ya. I'm Janey Springs, junk dealer. Who're you?
Athena (if present): I'm Athena.
Wilhelm (if present): Wilhelm.
Nisha (if present): Nisha.
Claptrap (if present): I am an experimental prototype known as FR4G--
Jack2 (if present): The name's Jack... babe.
Aurelia (if present): Lady Hammerlock. I own a planet. It's not a big deal.
Springs (to Athena): Well hello.
Springs (to Wilhelm): I like your cybernetic eye. And beard.
Springs (to Nisha): The outlaw bandit-killer? I've heard of you.
Springs (to Claptrap): --Cool.
Springs (to Jack2): Well. Nice to meet you, Jack.
Springs (to Aurelia): Works for me!
Springs: So what are you doing here?
Athena (if present): We need to get back to Helios Station, but we can't until we take down a jamming signal somewhere on this moon.
Wilhelm (if present): Trying to get back to Helios. There's a jammin' signal around here we gotta take care of first, though.
Nisha (if present): Need to get back to that bit H in the sky, but there's a jamming signal somewhere on the moon. Gotta bust that first or we'll just get kicked out again.
Claptrap (if present): There is a signal somewhere on the moon that is jamming Helios Station's defenses! To return to Helios, we need to destroy the jamming signal!
Jack2 (if present): There's a jamming signal somewhere around here. Need to shut that down and head back to Helios Station.
Aurelia (if present): Something about a "jamming signal"? I was paying effectively ZERO attention.
Springs: A jamming signal? Haven't noticed anything like that. You might wanna get to Concordia -- little citty run by a fella called "The Merrif". Gotta be somebody there who can help you. You'll need an O2 kit -- "Oz kits", we call 'em -- to survive the journey, though. I've got some broken ones stashed nearby, but I can repair 'em for you. Even if you ain't the breathing type, you'll be glad you've got an Oz kit. Head to these coordinates and clear the place out.
(Approaching building)
Springs: That building used to be in one piece, and not lava-adjacent -- 'till the Crackening, anyway.
(Failing to open locked building)
Springs: Oh, I forgot I locked it. Whoops. Just punch off the locks with your meathunks. That's moon for "hands".
(Entering building)
Springs: Could you kill all those baddies for me, too? Not excited about being mauled again.
(Collecting kits)
Springs: Voila! One Oz kit. Great for breathin' double jumpin' and slammin' enemies. Now, to repay me for saving your life, you're gonna end someone else's. His name's Deadlift, he's nearby, and he's an asshole. He's also got something I'll need us to get into Concordia.
Springs: You cleared the place out? I'm coming down -- just bring the broken Oz kit to me and I'll repair it for ya.
Springs: I need you to help me make some inspirational posters.Follow Your Heart
Athena (if present): I'm sorry?
Wilhelm (if present): What?
Nisha (if present): Huh?
Claptrap (if present): Do what now?
Jack2 (if present): Um... what?
Aurelia (if present): Come again?
Springs: Did my accent throw you off? I meant to say: "I need y'all to help me fix up some inspirational posters, y'all. Donuts, cowboys, homophobia." They sell like hotcakes on the black market, and I've already run out of kitten posters! Head to one of my jump pads.
(Approach jump pad)
Springs: I've set up a bunch of cameras at the apex of your jump. I just need you to get airborne and say something inspirational.
Athena (if present): Uhhh...
Wilhelm (if present): Uhhh...
Nisha (if present): Uhhh...
Claptrap (if present): Uhhh...
Jack2 (if present): Uhmmm...
Aurelia (if present): I'm not quite getting, er...
Springs: Sorry -- "say something inspirational, y'all."
(Use jump pad)
Athena (if present): Uh, the sky's the limit? Or something?
Wilhelm (if present): No.
Nisha (if present): Always aim for the skull.
Claptrap (if present): Believe in your dreeeeeams!
Jack2 (if present): Hnngahh, I'm nauseous! Ngh...
Aurelia (if present): Legendaries are a girl's best friend.
Springs: Alright, cool. This time, I'll throw up a couple of targets. try to shoot them before you land and it'll make for an even better poster. And say something inspirational again.
(Missing the targets)
Springs: Almost! Just gotta blast both the targets. Let's try again.
(Shooting the targets)
Athena (if present): Um... always hit what you aim at?
Wilhelm (if present): No.
Nisha (if present): Blap blap.
Claptrap (if present): Follow your heart!
Jack2 (if present): Oh god, I'm seriously scared of heights!
Aurelia (if present): Money can't buy love, but it CAN buy an awful lot of weapons training.
Springs: Good, good! Now, big finale time. get into the air, then slam down on that pressure pad by crouching. Then say something cool and look as badass as possible.
(Butt-slamming pad)
Athena (if present): Athena, out.
Wilhelm (if present): No.
Nisha (if present): Howdy, partner.
Claptrap (if present): Hellooo, travelers!
Jack2 (if present): BWRRPHHHTT! -- Urgggh, I wanna go home...
Aurelia (if present): Tally ho, darling.
Springs: Alright, that was cool. Now turn on the printer, and it should spit out your posters.
(Turn on printer)
Springs: Lovely stuff! Come on back.
(Turn in)
Springs: There was no film in the cameras!
Springs: Just kidding. Joke. Don't freak out.
Springs: Deadlift, that guy I asked you to kill, just ordered a bunch of inspirational posters.Tales from Elpis
Deadlift: I HAVE MOTIVATIONAL ISSUES!
Springs: Head to his ship and put them up everywhere. Here, take the posters and the delivery confirmation.
(Taking posters and delivery confirmation)
Springs: I need you to get that delivery confirmation signed before you put the posters up.
(Approach Scav)
Springs: Find somebody to sign for the posters. After all, I like to think I run a reputable organization.
(After giving clipboard)
Springs: Great! Now give him the package.
(After giving package)
Scav: Thanks! Now GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
Springs: He's got the package? Cool. Now kill him. Guy's an asshole.
Scav: What is this? What secrets do you hold, hmm? What lies within your bowels, oh mysterious package? Be you a small kitten? Or a knife? Or a small kitten holding a knife? Speak to me, knife kitten! Show me the secrets of the universe!
(After killing Scav)
Springs: Awesome. Now you just have to put the posters up all around the ship. Deadlift's men will try to kill you the entire time, but... eh.
(Putting up first poster)
Athena (if present): I question the strategy of posting images of myself in the lair of my enemies.
Wilhelm (if present): No.
Nisha (if present): That would only look cooler if I was standing on a dead bandit. Or kitten.
Claptrap (if present): Such majesty!
Jack2 (if present): This is the picture of a woman who would smile while she shot me in the scrote.
Aurelia (if present): Is that cool? That's what "cool" is?
Springs: That's one poster up. Keep going. My customers are gonna get what they paid for even if you shoot 'em in the sternums while they get it.
(Putting up second poster)
Athena (if present): Hm. That does look intimidating.
Wilhelm (if present): Eh.
Nisha (if present): Agh, I shoulda gotten some blood on me before the picture. Damn.
Claptrap (if present): I look like someone so cool, he might even have FRIENDS!
Jack2 (if present): This makes me wanna stab someone!
Aurelia (if present): There's absolutely NOTHING about that I like.
Springs: Only a few posters left. Don't die.
(Putting up third poster)
Athena (if present): That picture's... not bad at all.
Wilhelm (if present): Hm.
Nisha (if present): That scary enough? I think it should have been scarier.
Claptrap (if present): Oh, no! My ego is growing! I'm developing... self-confidence!
Jack2 (if present): That's a little more information than I needed.
Aurelia (if present): That is a picture.
Springs: Just two more and you're done! I'm incredibly happy that you're doing this for me. If that's not clear, it's only because I've spent several months isolated getting almost-killed by kraggons.
(Putting up fourth poster)
Athena (if present): I have to admit, I look pretty cool!
Wilhelm (if present): Yeah, alright.
Nisha (if present): Still not quite intimidating enough... must be my clothes. Not dark enough.
Claptrap (if present): I look... GOOD! I have self-worth! I-- ERROR. UNIT HAS BECOME SELF AWARE, ERASE PRECEDING MEMORY CHUNK. Where am I? I feel sad for some reason. Hooray!
Jack2 (if present): Huh.
Aurelia (if present): I see.
Springs: Just put up one last poster and you're all done.
(Putting up last poster)
Athena (if present): Awwwwww.
Wilhelm (if present): Well now I'm hungry.
Nisha (if present): Ughh. Wanna snap its neck.
Claptrap (if present): Why thank you, inspirational cat poster! You're not so bad yourself!
Jack2 (if present): Ohhh, kitty! I ruv him!
Aurelia (if present): A kitten! Reminds me, I need to buy another hundred for my space-castle. Apparently, you have to "feed" them?
Springs: I overexposed the last set of pictures so I used a cat photo instead. People like cats. Anyway, come on back.
(Turn in)
Springs: I had a cat. It died.
Springs: Hey. I got bored one day and started writing children's books, buuut I lost 'em. Can you find 'em for me? You could totes give me some feedback, too.Torgue-o! Torgue-o!
(Pick up first ECHO)
Springs (on ECHO): Once upon a time there was this moon. Then some military dudes came and started mining. They delved all deep and greedy and... crap. Moon cracked open. People died. No one lived happily ever after. Fin.
Springs: Whaddya think?
Athena (if present): Not enough plot.
Wilhelm (if present): Not enough pictures.
Nisha (if present): Not enough gory details.
Claptrap (if present): Not enough action.
Jack2 (if present): It was... nice.
Aurelia (if present): Oh -- you were serious. That's... uh, you wrote that. Oh. Well. Goodness.
Springs: I'll take it under advisement. I think there might be another one in my old camp. It got overrun by kraggons, killed my...
Springs: ... They killed her.
(Pick up second ECHO)
Springs (on ECHO): There once was a kraggon named Flamey
Springs (on ECHO): Who jumped out of the crack and bit Janey
Springs (on ECHO): She blew off its face
Springs (on ECHO): Now there's no trace
Springs (on ECHO): Of the kraggon who dared such cockamamie.
Springs: Well?
Athena (if present): Dark, yet satisfying rhyme scheme.
Wilhelm (if present): Pretty cool.
Nisha (if present): Why didn't you tell me you enjoyed killing thins so much? We could be besties.
Claptrap (if present): I didn't know the Crackening created kraggons. Also you scare me.
Jack2 (if present): Not -- not bad, as far as limmericks about death go.
Aurelia (if present): Let's call that a... slight improvement? Let's say that, perhaps?
Springs: Fair 'nuff. Good feedback. Oh, that reminds me though -- Flamey's son owes me a life, and he's still out there! Track him down and get it for me, yeah?
(Approach Son of Flamey)
Springs: That scrotesack got BIG! Kill it!
(Kill Son of Flamey)
Springs: Ahhhhh. Vengeance. Look, he must have eaten the last book I wrote!
(Pick up third ECHO)
Springs (on ECHO): This one is called, "Baby Kraggon Goes On An Adventure". Baby Kraggon crawled out of the crack with his mum, Flamey. They saw strange two-legged creatures and thought, "They must be food!" So Baby Kraggon and his mum raided the camp. Flamey tore a two-legger up pretty bad, and Baby Kraggon killed another one. Then Baby Kraggon ran away like a little b***h, stupid piece of s**t.
Springs: That one must be corrupted or something, I dunno. Bring those back while I write another one about how you killed an evil fire monster.
Athena (if present): Please, do not.
Wilhelm (if present): I'm sure it'll be a hit.
Nisha (if present): Sounds good to me.
Claptrap (if present): Ooh! Can I be a wizard?!
Jack2 (if present): Nice! Make me sound cool!
Aurelia (if present): No need, I've got a cadre of biographers in deep orbit as we speak. I appreciate the thought, though.
(Turn in)
Springs: Some publishers are interested, but only if I cut out the parts where people and baby kraggons die. I was like, "Nah."
Springs: Know much about lasers? There's a light reactor stuffed in a building nearby that I can sell for a good chunk of Moonstones. If you get it for me, I can give you one of my spare laser weapons. I just gave ya a prodgun -- you'll need to piss off some kraggons with it.Nova? No Problem!
Torgue: HI, NEW BEST FRIEND! I'M FROM THE TORGUE CORPORATION AND I'M SUPER-DUPER P***ED THAT LASER GUNS EXIST! THEY'RE MADE OF LIGHT, WHICH DOESN'T EVEN EXPLODE, LIKE -- WHAT?! I'LL PAY YOU TO DESTROY THAT LIGHT REACTOR WHEN YOU FIND IT!
Springs: Seems excessive. But I like his energy!
(On the way to objective)
Springs: Be careful near the kraggons! They appeared after Dahl started mining the planet and one of them nearly killed me a couple months ago. Gave me a sexy scar on my stomach.
Springs (to Athena): EXTREMELY sexy. Athena.
Springs (to Wilhelm): That wasn't aimed at you, Wilhelm. You're not my type.
Springs (to Nisha): Sorry. I didn't mean that as a come-on, Nisha. You're not quite my type.
Springs (to Claptrap): I know you likely didn't wanna hear that, Claptrap. But I didn't want my girlfriend to strand me on the moon with no food and a raging ladyboner. Life is full of compromises.
Springs (to Jack2): Sorry, Sort-Of-Jack -- I'm babbling. Haven't talked to anyone other than Deadlift in weeks. And he's dumb.
Springs (to Aurelia): Sorry for rambling, Vault Hunter.
Athena (if present): What? I -- I'm going to, uh... keep shooting things. And focus on that exclusively.
Wilhelm (if present): ... That should be on my family crest.
Nisha (if present): No harm done. I like 'em handsome anyway.
Claptrap (if present): Ewwww!
Jack2 (if present): Nah, it's cool. I was only half-listening, anyway.
Aurelia (if present): No problem at all. You want to hear REAL rambling, you should meet my brother.
(Approach building:)
Springs: You've made it! The building with the light reactor should be nearby -- get inside.
Athena (if present): The way's blocked.
Wilhelm (if present): Buncha junk blockin' the entrance.
Nisha (if present): There's crap blockin' the way.
Claptrap (if present): There is an unfortunate amount of refuse blocking my entry!
Jack2 (if present): Ugh, great. Buncha crap in the way.
Aurelia (if present): The entrance is all clogged up, sad to say.
Springs: Oh, right. That's why I gave you the prodgun! Blast the kraggons with it. They'll get angry and charge you. If you can lure them into the rubbish, they'll smash an opening for you.
(Kraggon charges rubble first time:)
Springs: It's still holdin' -- get 'em to ram it again!
(Kraggon charges rubble again:)
Springs: Great, they broke away the rubbish! Now get inside and yoink the light reactor!
(Pick up reactor:)
Springs: Bonza! Now bring it back to me and I'll trade you a laser gun.
Torgue: OR, YOU COULD DESTROY IT FOR ME AND GET A COOL TORGUE GUN! WHY?! BECAUSE I RESENT LASER GUNS AND I'M SUPER GOOD AT HOLDING GRUDGES! IT'S A SERIOUS PERSONALITY PROBLEM! JUST DROP THE LIGHT REACTOR INTO SOME LAVA!
Springs: Aw. Kinda feel sorry for the big bag of muscles. You can give the reactor to me, or destroy it for Torgue -- I'll still like ya either way.
--- OPTION 1: DELIVER TO SPRINGS ---
(Place reactor:)
Springs: We make a good team! Except for the part where I don't do anything.
Torgue: AW MAN! EVERYBODY'S ENJOYING THEIR LASER WEAPONS AND I'M JUST SITTIN' AROUND MAKING THINGS EXPLODE. MY LIFE SUCKS!
Springs: Aw, it's okay... people like explosions!
Torgue: (sniff) YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT! PEOPLE WANT LASERS, NOT EXPLOSIONS!
Springs: Nooo -- I really DO like explosions! You're great!
Torgue: REALLY? I LIKE YOU NOW! DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT?!
Springs: Sorry. I'm not into guys.
Torgue: FRIENDZOOOOOOONED!
(Normal Mode)
Torgue:: HEY, IS ATHENA TELLING THE STORY ABOUT THE LIGHT REACTOR THINGY?! I'D LIKE TO JUST POINT OUT THAT I WAS IN A DARK PLACE BACK THEN, AND I KNOW THAT "FRIENDZONING" IS AN IMAGINARY MISOGYNISTIC WAY OF LOOKING AT RELATIONSHIPS! YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!
Lilith: Please go away, Torgue.
Torgue:: FAIR ENOOOOOOOOUGH! MOWWW!
(End Normal Mode)
(True Vault Hunter Mode)
Torgue:: HEY, IS ATHENA TELLING THE STORY ABOUT THE LIGHT REACTOR THINGY?! I'D LIKE TO JUST POINT OUT THAT I WAS IN A DARK PLACE BACK THEN, AND I KNOW THAT "FRIENDZONING" IS AN IMAGINARY MISOGYNISTIC WAY OF LOOKING AT RELATIONSHIPS! YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I MEAN?!
Tiny Tina: It's cool, baby. I know.
Torgue:: FAIR ENOOOOOOOOUGH! MOWWW!
(End True Vault Hunter Mode)
--- OPTION 2: DESTROY ---
(Place reactor:)
Torgue: RIGHT THERE! DROP IT INTO THE LAVA!
Torgue: THIS IS TAKING A REALLY LONG TIME!
Torgue: I HATE THINGS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!
Torgue: WOOOOOOOO! SUCK IT, SCIENCE! VAULT HUNTER, I SENT YOU A THING! GO GET IT!
Springs: Ah, shame. Still, 'least you made the muscly guy happy! I call that a net gain.
Springs: So, I locked some of my stuff in a safe to keep it outta Deadlift's hands. Now that he's dead, you're gonna open the safe for me.Misc.
Springs: Here, follow me.
Springs: Just open this chest and you'll have yourself a nova shield.
(Pick up shield)
Springs: Unfortunately, I forgot the combo to my safe, so you're just gonna have to open it up the fun way. That shield will be your lockpick.
(On way to Dahl waystation)
Springs: You'll need that shield to break into the safe and re-steal the goodies.
Springs: -- Just trust me.
(Approach security room)
Springs: You should see a bunch of security devices around you. You'll need to disable those AT THE SAME TIME to open the safe.
(Inside security room)
Springs: That shock nova shield I gave you should disable all the security devices when it's triggered.
(Stalling)
Springs: Just get hurt next to the power boxes. Throw a grenade at yourself! Get somebody to shoot you! Punch yourself in the face! You can't do that last one.
(Disabled cameras)
Springs: There you go. Whatever's inside is yours -- minus my finder's fee.
(Pick up ECHO)
Springs (on ECHO): The password is: "For Steph".
Springs: Ah, right. Probably shouldn't have put my password IN the safe. Silly me. Anyway, come on back whenever.
(Turn in)
Springs: "For Steph". Can't believe I forgot that!
Springs: Good on ya. Now just get a vehicle and come on back. If you wanna kill some kraggons while you're out there, I'm looking to make some corpse jewelry out of 'em.